I simply cannot tell you how grateful I am for the family & friends
that are holding me up & pushing me forward right now.
They give me poems that remind me...
Procrastination
Through the long years, I've thought many times
of leaving - - getting out.
In my own mind, I've sworn I'd pack
next Monday, or payday, or when school is out,
after the holidays, for sure.
I've told myself I cannot stand
any more hurts,
nights of waiting,
name calling,
threats,
& veiled hate on both sides.
I'll be cool & calm, refuse to fight,
till I can go.
But time & again
my fickle heart betrays me,
& I wake up each anniversary
& find myself
still here.
Things that say:
Martha Stewart does NOT live here!
&
Explain to me again why I need a man
&
There are days
I drop words of comfort
on myself like falling rain
& remember it is enough
to be taken care of by my self.
&
Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over....
She became a butterfly
They give me words of encouragement & comfort -
We can do this - You can do this
You'll be ok.
Once you get through this, you'll be better off.
You are already are better off.
I love you.
Keep breathing.
You only have to do today.
Some things don't need to be fixed, they need to be changed.
They call him names.
They swear.
When I am broken, they carry my anger.
When I am furious, they carry my pain.
They say 'come on, lets get out'
They help me plan.
They help me dream.
They help me decorate.
They tell me to forgive.
They tell me to get mad.
They tell me it's all ok.
They tell me he'll regret this.
They help me see my life is not over.
They ask me - over & over how I am...
and they really want to know -
although I haven't had a good answer to that for months.
They give me their shoulders.
They give me their hugs.
They give me their homes.
They give me their hearts.
How blessed I am to have these beautiful people in my life!!
I could not survive this without them.
I wouldn't want to.
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